Tag: success

Getting Back In Control

If you’re like me, you’re burning the candle form 17 different ends. You have a professional career which eats up most of your time, family spread across the country, weekends filled with social engagements and a million things on your to-do list. Or maybe you just have too much going on and feel like you can’t get things under control.

Image Courtesy of Jutta under Creative Commons 3.0
Image Courtesy of Jutta under Creative Commons 3.0

The biggest desire for me is to keep control of my destiny and ensure that I am doing what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be filing reports that no one will read. I don’t want to be wrapped up in deadlines that don’t have any impact on my employer’s business. I want a purpose in every one of my actions.

In order to pursue what we love doing outside of our regular jobs, we have to make a lot of sacrifices. Whether it is staying up a few hours later each night, not being so lazy on our weekends or forgoing social opportunities to engage in our other business interests.

The bottom line: being a part-time entrepreneur isn’t easy.

If you neglect your e-mail for a few days, don’t return a phone call or suddenly find yourself not engaging with the people that can help make you successful it can become overwhelming very quickly.

I’ll be honest, I have been struggling with focusing on my entrepreneurial aspirations while balancing my day job, time with loved ones and just “zoning out.” The implications of changes at my day job have been draining and it has been so easy to just get home and veg out as much as possible. It almost seems like a defense mechanism of our bodies, to just let our minds release all of the tension that envelops us and to find relaxation in something that requires no thought or consideration (television is an excellent example).

However, as rewarding as that temporary distraction might be; as good as you might feel sitting and doing nothing, it will only make matters worse when you try to get everything back under control.

Last week I made a spur-of-the-moment decision which has impacted me over the last several days. Immediately after getting my mouth x-rayed to determine how invasive and costly a surgery would be to remove all four of my wisdom teeth, I decided to take the bull by the horns and have the procedure done right there.

It was something that I had been putting off for years.

I was afraid it would hurt. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to afford it and most importantly, I was afraid of the suffering I would endure afterwards.

But, in retrospect, it wasn’t that bad. The procedure took all of about 35 minutes during which I was under heavy sedation. I followed the doctor’s orders and haven’t experienced any pain or swelling. To top it off, after my insurance coverage, it was a fraction of the cost that I thought it would be.

So why did I spend so many months and years worrying about having this done?

It never does us any good to put things off and worry. Sometimes things might feel like getting our teeth pulled, but sometimes getting our teeth pulled really isn’t that bad. In fact, it’s good for us.

So this weekend, as I enjoy a somewhat limited diet, I’m grabbing the bull by the horns on all fronts. I’m attaching my 1,000+ message inbox, my 22+ Google Voice voicemails and numerous unanswered comments in social media. I’m replacing Google Reader, reinventing the way I post to social media and exploring the idea of a weekly Flipboard magazine.

Keeping up with this world of constantly changing and improving technology can be a lot of fun, but it is also a lot of work. The longer you stay out of practice, the longer you will have to spend catching up.

Just a few weeks ago I renewed my passion for what I do online by speaking at a local SEO Meetup. I was challenged by some of the questions in the audience, but refreshed by everyone’s curiosity. I knew after that class that what I am doing is what I love and there is no reason I should be doing something else.

So now, with that renewed passion I am heading back into the sea of notifications, plowing my way through and plotting my continual course to success. No, it’s not a straight line, and it might not be the fastest way to get there, but if we stop dead in our tracks, we’ll never make it.

In order to succeed in what you love doing, you need to be relentless. You need to beg your loved ones to encourage you. You need to immerse yourself in whatever it is that you love. You need to know it, love it and breathe it. You need to exercise your passion every chance you get.

When you decide to get things back under control, start small. Evaluate what it is that you need to accomplish: write a list. Using tools like Evernote and Google Keep can help you sort out your priorities and keep focus of your goals. If you ever feel like you are drowning, get back to your list, remember why you are pursuing your passion and figure out what you need to do to start treading water again.

Once you take a deep breath and dive in, you will immediately remember why you love chasing whatever dream you’re after.

How to Find Direction

Freedom of choice by Krzysztof Poltorak used under Creative Commons 2.0
Freedom of choice by Krzysztof Poltorak used under Creative Commons 2.0

At some point or another in our lives, we lose direction.

Most of the time, though, we know where we want to go, but we don’t have any clue how to get there.

This morning while I was getting ready for work I listened to an interesting presentation given by Professor Renata Salecl which “explores the paralysing anxiety and dissatisfaction surrounding limitless choice.”

In the talk, Professor Salecl talks about how being faced with a choice can make us feel. A classic example that I related to was sitting at a restaurant and ordering a bottle of wine. Salcel tells the story of a colleague that becomes anxious each time he is faced with this task. If he chooses the most expensive bottle, his friends will think he is a show-off, if he chooses the cheapest, his friends may perceive him as a cheapskate. So, as a general rule, he always chooses something in the middle and insists on paying for it.

That got me thinking. Do we always force ourselves into choosing something in the middle? Whether its our jobs, the clothes we wear, the food we eat or the level of difficulty we chose in sports and games, are we always limiting ourselves to the middle?

Clearly, we cannot all be number one at the same thing. That’s just impossible. If everyone that worked for every company was the CEO, there wouldn’t be anyone in the company to manage. It sounds silly, doesn’t it?

The way that we can override our natural tendency to be something in the middle is to dare to be something more. To make our own choices that might be off the beaten path.

Right now, more than anything, I want to quit my job and start my own business. (I am completely flattered by those of you that continue to ask me why I have not already done that.) However, quitting my job and starting my own business exposes me to a lot of risk:

  • What if I don’t make enough money?
  • How will I get health insurance?
  • What if one of my clients sues me?
  • Where will I get the money to advertise?
  • What happens when I can’t handle all of the work on my own?

If you are thinking of going off on your own, you are probably asking yourself all of these questions. They are great questions, too. The problem is, where you work, you probably have a department of people that worries about your company’s revenue, a department of people that deals with providing your insurance, a legal team that handles litigation, a marketing team that keeps consumers informed of your products and a management system to ensure the work is being accomplished.

Going off on your own, you are going to handle all of those things on your own. So how do you get the big push you need to do it?

You need to make the choice.

Most people do not start their own business because of the risks involved. They already have a steady income, a decent HMO and a corporate 401(k) match (if they are lucky). To start on their own would mean abandoning all of these things already provided for them. Not only that, but it is a lot easier to maintain a middle management job while flying low on the radar.

Why would you leave all of that? Who in their right mind would want to sacrifice healthcare, free retirement money and the ability to wear a sport coat instead of a suit on Friday?

At some point we need to make the choice to step outside of our comfort zone. To try something new. To be adventurous.

If you are like me, you have already made the choice to start something of your own. However, if you’re smart, you haven’t ditched your day job yet.

This is where the direction comes in.

If my working conditions were completely unbearable and I couldn’t stand another day in the office without harming my personal relationships, I would have left. However, things are tolerable and manageable. They are where I need them to be in order to succeed in my next venture.

In order to find direction, you need to find the people that will help you get where you are going.

Whether they are your family, your friends or your special someone, you need to find the people that will help point you in the right direction but not be afraid to tell you when you are about to do something completely stupid.

Many times I have come home and told myself I was going to quit my job and start my own business. However, I am lucky to have the people in my life to show me that I can’t just give up without an exit plan. Some of these people are mentors whom I have met online, others are former co-workers and the most important one is my lovely girlfriend, Brittani.

Each day they influence me and help me develop my strategy for success. They point out what I am passionate about and what I should work harder on. They challenge me to think about things differently and to renew my perspective. Because of them, I am constantly growing, changing and evolving my plan for success.

It’s with these people that I find direction.

Surround yourself with people that have been successful, people that care about you, and people that admire you.

Know what you want to do. Make the decision to change. Do what it takes to get there and depend on the people that enrich your life to help you find the right path to get where you’re going.

Once you get there, don’t forget to look back and offer your hand and share with those that could benefit from your wisdom.

 

What Happens When You Lose Focus

Blurry Image by Steve Snodgrass shared under Creative Commons 3.0
Image by Steve Snodgrass shared under Creative Commons 3.0

It has happened to all of us.

At one point or another, we made a promise to improve ourselves and we failed. Whether it was at work, with losing weight or spending more time on our hobbies, we can’t seem to do everything we want to accomplish all of the time.

For me, I made a promise to write a blog post every day for 30 days. Sounds simple enough, right? I did too.

It turns out, it wasn’t. In fact, it was really hard. So hard–in fact–that I actually failed.

Failure is okay though. It’s not something to be afraid of. Each time we fail we teach ourselves what we need to improve and what we need to avoid in order to be successful.

You’re never going to be able to lose 20-lbs, write Thank You notes to everyone that did something nice, make your bed every morning and start a new Yoga class every Tuesday for a month. Somewhere, something is going to have to give.

As I tackle on new projects, new responsibilities and promises to myself, I am learning to realize that we as humans can’t do everything at once.

In order to be successful, we need to try one thing at a time.

You can watch all of the “motivational speeches” you want about how you should never sleep, you should never give up and you should spend every living and breathing second focusing on being successful. You can try to replicate what worked for someone else, but in the end, you will fail. We all need to learn to be okay with that.

By failing, we learn. By learning, we become smarter.

The smarter we are, the more realistic our goals become.

Remember: every time you lose focus, pay attention to what caused you to become distracted. Steer away from the distractions and allow yourself to find the best way to accomplish your goals.

Be realistic. You can’t eat the elephant all at once. Take small bites, and chew slowly.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Sure, it’s challenging, but take advantage of its learning moments and use them to set you up for success.

Every time you lose focus, if you pay attention, you can put yourself a step closer to getting where you want to be.

And once you get there? Well, you’ll be grateful for taking the time to pay attention along the way.

Losing focus is okay. After all, you might learn something from it.

Why You Need a Good Support System

One of the freedoms of being an entrepreneur is exactly that: freedom. You can try a million different things, you can make changes on the fly and you can ultimately chose to do whatever it is you want to do however it is you want to do it. But, let’s face it, sometimes things go wrong.

Inevitably, you are going to be faced with a situation, a problem or an issue that you don’t have all of the answers for. Maybe you get too far in over your head with a particular project, or a client asks you for one thing, and it turns out they are really looking for something completely different. Having a good support system in place will make you shine in these circumstances. Continue reading Why You Need a Good Support System

Embracing Failure: Why Learning How to Fail Will Help You Succeed

Old Flying Machine
Old Flying Machine

One of the biggest things I have learned over the past few months is how important it is to fail. You can read about it from so many prominent authors, and hear about it from so many successfully people, but it won’t start to make sense until you start to embrace your failures.

Continue reading Embracing Failure: Why Learning How to Fail Will Help You Succeed

Setting Yourself Up for Success

Photo by János Fehér (Creative Commons 3.0)
Photo by János Fehér (Creative Commons 3.0) "Sit down with a blank sheet of paper and your favorite pen. Write down a list of things that you can easily accomplish today that you would normally put off until next week."

A Productive Friday Means a Stress-Free Monday

It is the last day of the traditional work week for most nine to fivers. In fact, most people in the United States will enjoy the observation of Martin Luther King, Jr. day on Monday, so today signifies the last day of work before a three day weekend. If you are one of these traditional schedule workers, you are probably looking very forward to getting out of the office on time or early today. Continue reading Setting Yourself Up for Success